I would like to start by thanking everyone for their kind thoughts and words of encouragement in regard to the drama that went down in my life on December 2nd. I am bolstered by the fact that many of you seem to find the entire situation as ludicrous as I and additionally, do not feel that I look like a terrorist. While that was certainly not the reason Border Patrol held me, I am still glad to know that I will not ever be general cast as 'terrorist'.
The last couple of weeks have been rife with information, misinformation, starts and stops, and paperwork. Ohhhh... the paperwork. And I will say that it is somewhat disheartening to have to check the 'YES' box to the question, "Have you been refused entry to the UK within the last 10 years? If so, please explain." This is in the list of questions that most of us gladly check down the line 'NO' to. It's in there with, "In times of peace or war have you ever been involved in, or suspected of involvement in, war crimes, crimes against humanity or genocide?" So in my explanation to my refused entry, I was extremely tempted to enter: "I was refused entry due to a misunderstanding of the true purpose for my visiting my fiance. It's not like I committed crimes against humanity or anything!" But my better judgement prevailed. If anything, my desire to do everything absolutely right, to the letter, almost paralyzed me. I sat there for 2 days analyzing the meaning of the word "partner" and how it pertained to J and I. I began questioning what the application was really inferring when it asked for my mother's 'family name'. I was so scared to answer incorrectly, give too much information, or give not enough that I found myself retreating and not doing the very things that I absolutely needed to do to ensure that J and I be reunited in the shortest period of time possible. At one point he made an excellent point. The rational type of argument that I needed to hear. J said, "Listen, these things are submitted all of the time and sometimes people just get turned down. It doesn't matter how comprehensive the supporting documents are, how well the application is filled out, the application gets turned down and that's that." Well, of course I started to cry because that has become my primary form of communication over the past 2 weeks. I am fabulous company right now, let me tell you. But when I thought about it and really took it in, it helped me get over my fear and the obsessive compulsive spiral that I was sliding down. While still being comprehensive in my completion of the visa application, it helped me relax just a bit to know that in the end, it might not matter. This may seem counter intuitive, but it worked. Leave it to the Latin sensibility to trump my American rigidity! It was Susan Powter coming over and telling me to 'STOP THE INSANITY'!! (Now how's that for a reference?)
Yesterday I put my application in the mail. Well, to be specific, I sent it Fed Ex-per application instructions. This is all rather hilarious because the British General Consulate is about 6 blocks away from my office. But, following the directions, as I am wont, I sent it Fed Ex which means it took a little trip down to Tennessee last night before coming back up to NYC for Priority Delivery today. I had hysterical visions of the package being lost or the FedEx truck catching on fire destroying its precious cargo. Of course none of this happened and I received my delivery confirmation this morning. If you think that sounds insane, well-yeah. That's just the way things have been the last 3 weeks.
Now we wait.
I would be remiss if I did not mention the fact that the events of last Friday morning at Sandy Hook Elementary certainly helped to put my situation into some perspective. While all of this has been far from ideal, J and I still have each other. We may be on different continents, but it is not a permanent situation. 26 families had their lives tragically and permanently changed that day. No amount of paperwork, no amount of seemingly redundant tasks can bring back to life the people who died in an environment that they surely felt was safe and secure. As a former first grade teacher, I cannot adequately express how I felt as I started to read the news of what had transpired that morning. My heart and prayers go out to those affected.
No comments:
Post a Comment