All The Boys Think She's A Spy...

"There comes a time, in every woman's life, when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne." -Bette Davis

Well hello there!  If you are thinking that it's been a while, you would be right!  If you are thinking that it's been a while because Colleen (yes I am referring to myself in the third person) has been off doing so many fantastic and wonderful things that she does not even have time to devote to her blog, well, you would be wrong.  In fact, what has been happening over the past month is a whole lot of nothing!  As one can imagine, this has made me somewhat... anxious.  Being that on a good day my natural state is anxious, let's imagine the normal anxiety to the second power.

I thought that I was doing well with the stress of the situation.  I thought that I was handling things like a calm, mature adult.  I pictured myself as the protagonist in some old movie (of course) handling each new hurdle with utmost dignity and looking fabulous doing it.

I thought I was like this:

Bette Davis in 'Dark Victory'

But, really, I am like this:

Bette Davis in 'Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?'

The reality of how mental I really have become has made itself apparent over the past couple of weeks.  Generally I spend my days watching HGTV.  I finished up my second stint at work in mid-January and have since spent my free time going to the gym and watching complete fluff.  I realized that things may not be altogether kosher with me when I began to hate the people on House Hunters and some of the other shows on the channel.  I found myself saying things like, "These people are just STUPID.", "You know what, I think I hate them.", and generally just resenting the heck out of anyone who complained about a seemingly insignificant problem with a home.  'Oh, the counter tops aren't granite?? Tell me about your problems.' (Lack of granite counter tops is a recurring theme as I have already discussed.)  Snarky Ms. Snark-Snark, here.  Then, there was the day that I completely lost my mind on the receptionist at the doctor's office.  I had gone through a three day ordeal of trying to figure out why my prescription wasn't being refilled.  I spoke with the doctor's office and the pharmacy multiple times.  It came to pass that my prescription wasn't being refilled because the doctor wanted me to come in for an annual check-up.  Something that might have been nice for the receptionist to have told me ON MY FIRST CALL.  But never fear, because I responded to this bit of information with the same amount of hysteria that might normally come as a result of being told that one has some kind of terminal disease... or losing a cell phone.  As I hung up the phone, I thought to myself, "Mmmm... you maybe shouldn't be allowed out into the general population right now."  Follow this up with a completely maddening experience with the brain trust working at the Roosevelt Field BCBG (I am still bitter) and a 4 hour train ride from Huntington into New York City (normally 1 hour) that resulted in my crying intermittently throughout the train and subsequent subway rides, and I think that one can easily conclude that I should really just sequester myself at home watching Disney movies and TCM.  I even got a little weepy at the Clydesdale Super Bowl ad.  I thought this was yet another sign of my being overly-emotional, and then I realized that if you weren't emotional about that ad, you are a robot.

So on to what you all really want to know.  The status of the General Visitor Visa.  According to the information that I was emailed on January 3rd, average processing time for these applications (at the time) was 14 business days.  Yay!  I would be seeing J by Valentine's Day!  Well today we are at 26 business days and I will be seeing the dentist on Valentine's Day.  

An email to a contact at the UK Consulate resulted in the following information: 

"I just heard back from my visa colleagues, and I understand your application is subject to further enquiries based on your UK immigration history. Regrettably, they cannot provide a resolution date, but you should be kept up to date via email by the visa department.  My colleague asked me to remind you that you are at liberty to withdraw the application at any stage if you need your passport back." 

Ahh, yes.  My immigration history.  The reason that we are in this mess to begin with.  My trying to go see my fiance without a return ticket.  Their determining that we were to get married in the UK.  That history.  Please, use all of your resources to get to the bottom of this.  While I very much appreciate the efforts of the gentleman at the Consulate who relayed this message to me, the message itself, well... 

...it made me feel like this: 

Bette Davis Eyes

 But, as we have established, I probably looked like this:

Bette Davis, she cray-cray.

So there you have it.  I wish I had more to report, and I wish what I was reporting was more conclusive, but... not so much.  The comedy of the absurd.  

As always, a big shout out and thank you to all of my lovely friends who have been checking in with me, allowing me to crash on their couches, inviting me to all manner of fun activities, and those who have had to listen to "My Story" maybe a couple of times more than once.  You are all "Gone With the Wind Fabulous".

**Sorry for the wonky formatting!  After having wrestled with it for about 30 minutes, I have given up before I lose my mind a la 'The Hulk'. -C